Welcome to this short little interlude we call The Lost Highway Trailer Park. We thought it would be groovy to show some trailers of some actual upcoming films that have that b-movie flavor we so love (it’s sort of a cross between garlic and stale popcorn.) No lie folks, these movies are actually coming to a theater or direct DVD release near you. Check them out.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

There have been plenty of “versus” movies throughout Hollywood’s film history, like “King Kong vs. Godzilla” and “Freddy vs. Jason.” But now we have the ultimate versus movie with “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” brought to you by The Asylum, which specializes in tasteful knock-offs of Hollywood blockbusters. This low-budget sci-fi epic stars Ricki Lake’s BFF and washed-up singer, Debbie Gibson, as a scientist who cruises underwater in her little sub and gets to say classic lines like, “Thrilla in Manilla” (a reference to the final slugfest between Ali and Frazier) when talking about about the big prehistortic beastie showdown. Also, fans of the show “Renegade” will recognize has-been actor Lorenzo Lamas, who shows up in the trailer. I was wondering what happened to him after his show had ended. Well, judging from his amazing performance in the trailer I have no doubt that he will land many more roles in crappy Sy-Fy Channel movies. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that the trailer isn’t a highlight reel of the good parts of the movie, like when Mega “Air” Shark leaps out of the water and gets some major hangtime before snacking on a 747 airliner. Place your bets, because Mega Shark and Giant Octopus are currently battling it out on DVD and cable.

Hot Rod Girls Save The World

Heroes from Superman to Snake Plissken have saved the day onscreen. Now it’s time for two hot chicks who drive vintage hot rods to repay the favor and save Earth. From what I can tell by the brief preview, residents in some nameless town–probably in the United States–start getting murdered while others just disappear. The details are sketchy at best, but something about cannibalism was mentioned, so I’m thinking that a group of blood-thirsty zombies are probably to blame. Either that or “Cook” from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Part 2″ decided to take a roadtrip to look for some fresh meat. Should be a fun throwback to drive-in movies of the atomic age. D.A. Sebasstian, frontman for the band Kill Switch…Klick wrote, directed, and also contributed music to the film’s sci-fi rockabilly style soundtrack.

Atomic Brain Invasion

The trailer begins with a hilarious public service announcement about why viewers shouldn’t watch the movie delivered by a General Patton impersonator that really sets the tone for the rest of the trailer. Once again Earth is a popular vacation spot for angry aliens. The aliens, who look like a cross between the cranial creatures from “Fiend Without a Face” and the monster brain from “Brain from Planet Arous” have dropped by planet E for a surprise visit to abduct the “King” (yes, Elvis) so that he can perform sold-out concerts on their home planet. Well, since I haven’t seen the movie, I’m assuming this is the reason for beaming up Mr. Hunka Hunka Burning Love. On the other hand, maybe the Atomic Brains wanted a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich done the right way, and what better person to ask then Elvis himself? This is another sci-fi spoof from the same production company that gave us “Creature from the Hillbilly Lagoon.”

Destination Mars

This isn’t a sequel to the 1950 movie “Destination Moon.” Instead, it’s a hilarious b-movie feast of bad acting, chessy sets, and laugh-out-loud special effects that pay homage to sci-fi films from the 50’s. We soon learn that foolish earthlings are in deep doo-doo again. Mankind has made the mistake of pissing-off a planet full of alien women, and it isn’t long before they send a butt-load of killer robots to visit planet Earth. Will planet Earth survive to be invaded yet again by another alien species in another sci-fi movie? Highlights include scenes of important landmarks being destroyed by Ed Wood-style visual effects. And for all the romantic types out there, nothing will warm your heart like hearing the two movie leads sing their dialog to each other while enjoying a peaceful picnic.

Monarch of the Moon

A great parody of those old film serials like “The Adventures of Captain Marvel” by the wonderful folks behind the movie “Destination Mars.” Contains six thrilling action-filled chapters of retro b-movie goodness. Our hero this time around is named The Yellow Jacket. Hey, isn’t there already a Marvel superhero called Yellow Jacket? Anyway he faces-off aganist World War II era enimies like the not-very-politically-correct-named “Japbots” in his quest to rid the world of diabolical forces. And if that isn’t enough to keep our insect-obessed hero busy, he also has to deal with a giantantic ray gun affectionately known by its mad scientist creator as “the Death Ray” and Nazi soliders. Also, “Star Wars” fanboys will certainly notice that the villian called “Dragon Fly” looks a lot like Queen Padmé Amidala from “The Phantom Menace”, but trust me, it’s not her. If you liked “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorow”, then you will definitely love this movie.

Thankskilling

this one lacks any explanation.Killer talking turkey puppets. mmmm…delicious.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

A brilliant homage from Director Larry that perfectly captures the look and feel of those cheesy low-budget sci-fi movies from the Atomic Age. Filled with plenty of hilarous dialog and DIY visual effects that would make Ed Wood proud. Filmed in Skeletorama.

The Lost Skeleton Returns Again

This sequel takes place in a jungle and it appears to have the same elements that made the first one so great. Of course the Skeleton is back and he has a bone to pick! Well, actually only the skull returns this time even though the sequel reportedly was given a bigger budget. And speaking of bigger budgets, this movie proves that you don’t need millions of dollars, random missing film reels, or fake looking distress filters to make a fun throwback movie. I really enjoyed the cheesy charm of the original Skeleton released 2001 that made retro sci-fi movies popular again. Let’s hope this sequel can re-capture the spoof-tacular magic of the original.

Trail of the Screaming Forehead

Looks like another hilarious send-up of sci-fi movies from the 50’s by director Larry Blamire. This time “Foreheads” want to rule the world. Some of the visual effects will remind you of stop motion pioneer and legend Ray Harryhausen (Clash of the Titans). Harryhausen also gave the film his stamp of approval by releasing it under his “Ray Harryhausen Presents” banner. Check it out, but watch out for brows on the prowl .

Black

At first glance this just looks like your standard action movie set in some foreign location (this time France). But thanks to a fresh mix of comic book style action, a 70’s flavored soundtrack (think Shaft) and some voodoo shenanigans this movie aims to keep things interesting. Even though this movie looks like fun I’m a little concerned that a rapper is playing the lead role. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t turn out to be another “Cool as Ice.” Also, this movie is in French with English subtitles, so you might want to brush up on your subtitle reading skills before renting this movie. But don’t worry you still have plenty of time as “Black” still hasn’t received U.S. distribution.

Rampage

Behold, the Turkish answer to Rambo. A great action movie spoof by the same guy who gave us Turkish Star Wars. This movie has a fully loaded arsenal of cheesy sound effects, hilarious dialog and rapid fire “Wack-Fu” hand to hand combat that is guaranteed to make you laugh so hard you might loose consciousness. Coming to DVD April 24, 2009 for the first time since if was made nearly 23 years ago.

The Ghastly Love of Johnny X

After seeing the awesome retro styled movie poster online, I just had to check out the trailer. And I’m happy to say that from what I’ve seen this movie looks like a fun musical spoof of those old black and white sci-fi movies. There is even a guy wearing a Devo hat. Devo wasn’t around in the 50’s? This is what I imagine Grease would have looked and sounded like if it had been done as a sci-fi movie. Also, Phantasm fans keep an eye out for Reggie Bannister who can be seen in the trailer.

Hobgoblins 2

Who ever thought director Rick Sloane would make a sequel to his film Hobgoblins, especially after receiving a brutal Chevy Chase style roast courtesy of the MSTK 3000 guys. Well, it took 20 plus years, but Sloane bravely returns with Hobgoblins 2. In the first movie the title creatures which look like a poor man’s “Munchie” escape from an old film vault in their evil quest to make dreams come true and cause murderous mayhem. Fans will be happy to know that the highly anticipated new installment continues the director’s successful formula of stock explosions and car crashes along with his “I threw this together in 5 minutes” production design. And I’m sure when people hear the Hobgoblins theme song at the end of the trailer the catchy tune will break download records on iTunes.

Alien Trespass (preview rated PG)

Giant one eyed aliens, flying saucers and bad acting, Alien Trespass looks to be a great throwback to the 50’s alien invasion flick. Set in 1957 an alien crashes to earth bent on destroying all life on the planet (don’t they all?) Eric McCormack is a friendly alien who is trying to stop it. Reminds me a bit of Skeleton of Cadavera but we’ll see if it achieves that level of comedic parody genius.

Infestation (preview rated PG)

Remember the movie “Skeeter” about giant killer mosquitoes sucking out the brains of helpless rednecks. Well let this trailer jog that noggin’ of yours. This looks to be a rip roaring bug filled gooey soaked return to horrible mutant creature features of the 1950’s. Throw in a giant can of insect repellant and you got yourself a fun outdoor picnic.

Bitch Slap (preview rated R)

I could easily claim this movie as potentially the greatest movie ever to grace cinema but I will reserve my judgement until after seeing it. When you combine hot babes, big guns, fast cars and huge explosions you got a recipe for testerone greatness. This movie will set the woman’s movement back about 30 years and put guys in the dog house just for thinking about going to see it.

Black Dynamite (preview rated PG-13)

This parody of the classic 70’s blacksploitation film looks absolutely hilarious as Black Dynamite cleans up the ghetto while making time with the ladies. “Can you Dig it? I said CAN YOU DIG IT?” Yes we can.

Lesbian Vampire Killers (Preview rated PG-13)

The title says it all. However, are they lesbians who kill vampires or people that kill lesbian vampires? And does it really matter either way? I am jealous of the future me who has already seen this.